-You will live forever. Alone.
-Arrangements were made to feed your feret.
-You have low-hanging boobs, of male and/or female variety.
-You are last to own a life.
-You are not a fanboy. You are TEH fanboy!
-Waiting in line is about as social as you get.
-You can tell the difference between a Cell processor and your cellulite.
-You’re TiVo’ing Battlestar Galactica.
-You are a non-conformist immune to mass marketing. Pshaw.
-Your friends and family will be getting home-made gifts this holiday season.
-You will say it's awesome, even if the box blows up on the ride home.
-You are Lizard King to Losers everywhere.
-Bragging rights throughout Mordor, Narnia and the moons of Endor.
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